pressing into grace

yes, i go to hong kong in a few hours.. and for those of you praying.. THANK YOU.... I'll let you know when I'm back in Taiwan, (very) hopefuly with an official residency in Taiwan (crazy.. I'll be a resident). :)

But... for today. God is strong in my weakness. He's been pounding this into my head for some time, but I've never gotten it. And I still don't, I'm sure. But, I get it more now than ever before. I've always desired strength. I was the tom-boy, i was strong, i could lift it, move it, throw it, hold onto it.... typically. And it made me mad when I couldn't. And in the same respect; I've been doing that with sin. I'm strong enough... or I should be,right?

WRONG!!! God has told me time and time again through His word and through situations that I'm not strong enough. I can't do this. I've tried; a long time. It never works, so why do I think that next time it will? I'll magically be able to overcome things on my own......and when I have Him... why in the world would I want to (do it alone)???

In Chinese they'd call me fong-szzh (crazy). I have the creator of the universe; why do I try to take on that role? He wants to do this for me; why don't I run straight to Him and thank Him for His desire to live in and through me? He doesn't want to be a part of my life, even a big part....He wants to BE my life, my strength, my portion. And I'm beginning to let Him. And it's amazing; So freeing.

So; I'm pressing into the heart of the Father. Pressing into grace.